6 mau ala e hoʻohana hewa ai ʻoe i ka huhū

Anter

• No ke aha e huhū ai ka huhū

Huhū pinepine paha ʻoe? Inā pēlā, maikaʻi paha ʻoe me kēlā, ke kuhi pinepine nei i kou huhū e hana iā ʻoe i ka mea āu e makemake ai, a i ʻole ma ka mea e hōʻoluʻolu ai iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole paha ʻoe i ʻike i nā hopena maikaʻi ʻole iā ʻoe, ma nā mea o kou huhū, a ma kāu mau pilina ma ka laulā.

Akā, he aha inā ua ʻōlelo a kekahi āu e ʻike ai ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e huhū nui, i hoʻonāukiuki ai kou huhū iā ʻoe a ʻoluʻolu ʻole ke noho a puni?

ʻO ka poʻe Psychologists, i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua loaʻa he mau kumu maikaʻi e noʻonoʻo ai i ka hana a ka huhū i kou ola. ʻO ka huhū huhū: wehe i ka Irrationality o ka Angry Mindset (ʻIke ʻo Australian Academic Press) ʻimi i nā ala hou e noʻonoʻo ai e pili ana i kēia naʻau luku. Ua kākau pū nā mea kākau, psychologists ʻo Steven Laurent lāua ʻo Ross G. Menzies ʻO ka puke hana huhū huhū huhū: nā hoʻomaʻamaʻa kūpono no ka hoʻokahuli ʻana i ka huhū, ka huhū a me ka huhū . Paipai nui wau i nā puke ʻelua inā koʻikoʻi ʻoe e pili ana i ka hoʻohuli ʻana i ka huhū a me ka noho ʻana me ka mālie (a i ʻole ke kōkua ʻana i kekahi e hana pēlā).

No ke aha e huhū ai ka huhū

ʻO ka huhū, ke manaʻo nei iā ia a me ka haʻi ʻana aku, ʻoi aku ka hōʻeha ma mua o ke kōkua. ʻO ka huhū pinepine i ka hana ʻino. Hiki iā ia ke alakaʻi i ka hauʻoli nui. Kuhi a ʻōlelo hou mai Ka Hina Huhu , eia kekahi mau ʻike e pili ana i ka huhū.

1. Hoʻonāukiuki ka huhū iā ʻoe? Ua nīnau nā psychologists i ka poʻe komo i kahi noiʻi pehea lākou i ʻike ai ma hope koke iho o kahi hanana huhū. Ma lalo o 10 pākēneka i ʻōlelo lākou ua māʻona, hauʻoli, lanakila, a ʻoliʻoli paha (ʻo 1 wale nō ka pākēneka i hauʻoli). No ka hōʻoluʻolu, 23 wale nō pākēneka i manaʻo pēlā. Eia nō naʻe, 43 pākēneka i ʻōlelo ua huhū a huhū paha lākou, a aneane nui ka hapa nui i ʻōlelo ʻia me ke kaumaha, hoʻowahāwahā, hopohopo, hewa, hilahila, a i ʻole lapuwale. ʻO nā mea kākau o Ka Hina Huhu hoʻohui inā ʻo ka huhū he "maʻamau" a i ʻole "maʻamau," ʻaʻole kōkua iki ia.

2. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻino i ka evolution no kou huhū? He huhū paʻa paha ka huhū, ma kekahi poʻe ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe, akā, e like me kā Laurent lāua ʻo Menzies i kākau ai, "ʻaʻohe aʻaina no ka inaina i ka poʻe e kamaʻilio lohe ana i kā lākou kelepona paʻalima ma nā pahi." Aʻo ʻia nā manaʻoʻiʻo. Hoʻomaopopo ka huhū iā mākou no ka hakakā kino, hoʻonui i ka testosterone a me ka adrenaline, ka puʻuwai o ka puʻuwai, ka haʻalulu o nā puʻupuʻu, a me ka hōʻuluʻulu ʻana o ke koko i nā hui puʻupuʻu nui. ʻAʻole ia he pane hou no ka huhū o nā lā hou.

3. E noʻonoʻo i ka nui o nā mea e huhū ai iā ʻoe ʻaʻole e hana hou. I kēia manawa e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i nā mea āpau e huhū ai i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe āu e ʻike ʻole ai e hoʻonāukiuki ana. Inā he wahine kāu, e noʻonoʻo i kāu mau ukiuki kahiko a me ka liʻiliʻi o lākou mea iā ʻoe i kēia manawa. (E ʻike i kaʻu pou i kapa ʻia ʻo "Pehea e hou ai ka hou i nā mea liʻiliʻi".)

4. Pono ʻoe e kamaʻilio i kou naʻau? ʻAʻole, maikaʻi ʻole kēlā, ke ʻole ʻo ia ke koho ʻoi loa i kēlā manawa. "Kūpono nā manaʻo i kekahi manawa," i kākau ai nā mea kākau, "akā ʻo ka lawe ʻana i nā manaʻo i ke kūkākūkā ʻana a i kahi kūkā kamaʻilio ʻana paha (e pili ana i ka lawena o kekahi) hiki ke lilo i mea hoʻonāukiuki ... Huhu, o nā manaʻo āpau e lawe i kahi noi, ʻo ia nō ka MEA kauoha ʻia. "

5. He ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻole ka hoʻonāukiuki ʻana o kou huhū iā ia. E nānā i ka manawa hou e hōʻike ai ʻoe i ka huhū, a inā ʻoe e ʻike i kahi hōʻoluʻolu ke ʻōlelo ʻoe i kāu ʻāpana huhū, e hoʻomanaʻo i kēia ʻike e nā mea kākau: "ʻO ke koʻikoʻi o ka pāpā (ka hana o ka ʻōlelo ʻole ʻana) hoʻokuʻu ʻia, ʻaʻole huhū iho. " ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ke hoʻoikaika nei paha ʻoe i kou huhū.

6. ʻO ka hopena i ka huhū nui i kou ola? ʻAʻole ia "e hoʻomaha." ʻAʻole hoʻi ia e kāohi a hoʻohuli paha i kou huhū. He aha hoʻi? Hāʻawi nā mea kākau ʻo Laurent lāua ʻo Menzies i nā ala o ka noʻonoʻo e hōʻoki paha iā ʻoe mai ka huhū. ʻO ke ala hoʻokahi ke alo i kou manaʻo kolohe e pono ke ola ma ke kaulike. ʻO ke aʻo ʻana e ʻike i ke aloha hou aʻe hiki ke hoʻomalie pū kekahi. E ʻae i ka waiho ʻana i kou huhū ma hope ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo ʻo "lanakila" ka mea ʻē aʻe.

Kuleana kope (c) 2018 na Susan K. Perry, ka mea kākau o ʻO Kylie's Heel