Loaʻa iā mākou nā "Selves ʻoiaʻiʻo"?

Anter

• Nā kiko kī
• He aha ka ʻoiaʻiʻo?
• ʻAʻole kū ka "Manaʻo Pono"

Nā kiko kī

• ʻO ke "iho pono" kahi kūpono e alakaʻi i kā mākou hana.
• Pili ka ʻaoʻao i ke ʻano extraverted me nā manaʻo o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoiai no nā introverts.
• Hūnā pinepine ka poʻe i kā lākou hana i mea e launa pū ai me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

He aha ke ʻano o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo?

I loko o kāna nīnauele nui me Joe Rogan, ua hōʻike ka mea kākau ʻoi loa ʻo David Goggins i kāna makaʻu nui loa.

He wā weliweli ʻo Goggins, ulu a ʻōpala, a ʻike i ka nui o ka paʻakikī i kona wā ʻōpio. A laila ua lilo ʻo ia i Navy SEAL, he mea holo holo ʻo ultra-marathon, a he haʻi ʻōlelo hoʻouluulu kaulana.

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Goggins e make ana kāna makaʻu nui a ke Akua (a i ʻole ke Akua e hāʻawi i kēia hana) e hōʻike iā ia i kahi papa me kahi papa inoa o nā mea i hoʻokō ʻia: kino maoli, Navy SEAL, mea hoʻopaʻa leo huki, haʻi ʻōlelo hoʻoikaika e kōkua i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, a pēlā aku. manaʻo e ʻōlelo ana "ʻAʻole wau ia." A pane ke Akua, "ʻo ia ka mea āu i manaʻo ai."

He aha ka ʻoiaʻiʻo?

Ua kākau ka psychologist kaulana ʻo Roy Baumeister i kahi pepa kālaiʻike hoihoi e pili ana i ka "ʻoiaʻiʻo maoli" a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Hōʻike ʻo ia i ka manaʻo o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e hele mai ana inā e hana ana mākou i ka laina me ka kūlana a mākou e makemake ai.

I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, manaʻo nui ka poʻe i ka laina me kā lākou maoli maoli ke hoʻokō ʻia kā lākou kiʻi pilikanaka i makemake ʻia. ʻO ka kūleʻa ʻole i ka loaʻa ʻana, a i ʻole ka nalo ʻana, e ʻike ʻia ka liʻiliʻi o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.

Ke hopu ʻia e hana ana i kekahi mea hilahila iā lākou, ʻōlelo ka poʻe i nā mea e like me, "ʻAʻole wau kēlā" a i ʻole "ʻAʻole wau kēlā."

Ke hōʻike nei lākou i nā hana hōʻino i ka inoa ʻaʻole hōʻike i ko lākou iho maoli. ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo he wahaheʻe lākou. Manaʻo maoli ka hapa nui o ka poʻe i kā lākou hana hilahila ʻaʻole i hōʻike ʻia i ka hohonu o lākou.

Kākau ʻo Baumeister, "Inā ʻo ke kumu nui o ka iho e hoʻopili i ke kino o ka holoholona i loko o ka ʻōnaehana kaiaulu (no laila hiki ke ola a hānau hou), a laila ʻo ka mahi ʻana i kahi kūlana maikaʻi ka mea nui e hopohopo nui ai, a ke kūleʻa kekahi, ʻoiai kekahi manawa. e lilo i manaʻo aloha noʻu 'ʻo wau nō ia!' ”

ʻO ia ke kumu o nā hana a mākou e hana ai e mālama a hoʻomaikaʻi paha i ko mākou kūlana e hāʻawi iā mākou i kahi hoʻonui o ka hauʻoli. Hoʻohui mākou i kēia manaʻo me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.

E like me kā ka psychologist loiloi evolution Geoffrey Miller i ʻōlelo ai, ʻaʻole ala aʻe nā lawena ma muli wale nō o ka maikaʻi. Ua ulu ka manaʻo maikaʻi e hoʻolale i ka lawena, a loaʻa paha kahi uku evolutionary. Aia ka manaʻo maikaʻi e kiʻi iā mākou e hana hou i kēlā hana pono.

Ua kākau ʻo Baumeister, "ʻO kekahi o nā mea i ʻike nui ʻole ʻia no nā mea noiʻi ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo ia nā mea noiʻi noiʻi ʻAmelika, e like me nā introverts, i hōʻike pinepine ʻia i ka manaʻo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ke hana i kahi ʻoihana i mua o ka introverted. He hui kaiaulu ʻo ʻAmelika, akā naʻe, he mea pīhoihoi ia a ʻo ka poʻe introverts i manaʻo he ʻoiaʻiʻo ke hana extraverted. "

ʻOiaʻiʻo, hōʻike ka noiʻi i ka poʻe e hōʻike i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ke hana lākou i kahi ʻano extraverted, consciousious, emotionally stable, a me ka noʻonoʻo. Nānā ʻole i ko lākou ʻano maoli.

E hoʻokau i kahi ʻokoʻa, manaʻo ka poʻe i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ke hana nei lākou i nā waiwai o ke kaiāulu, ma mua o ka hahai ʻana i kā lākou iho i loko.

ʻO ka mea hoihoi, hōʻike nā noiʻi ʻē aʻe i nā manaʻo o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo a me ke olakino ke kiʻekiʻe ke hele ka poʻe me nā ʻano kūwaho ma mua o ke kūʻē ʻana iā lākou. ʻO ka hele pū ʻana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe kekahi i pili me ka nui o ka ikehu a me ka hilinaʻi kiʻekiʻe.

E noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe e ʻikea ka mea maoli maoli i ka wā e pale aku nei ka poʻe i ka hopena o ka nohona. Akā manaʻo ka poʻe i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo iā lākou iho ke hele pū lākou me nā ʻano kaiaulu.

No laila he hipa wale kā mākou mea ʻoiaʻiʻo e hele pū me nā poʻe a puni mākou e hana nei?

ʻAʻole kū ka "Manaʻo Pono"

ʻ suggestslelo ʻo Baumeister ʻaʻole ka mea maoli maoli kahi mea maoli. He manaʻo a kūpono ia.

ʻO ka mea maoli maoli pehea mākou e noʻonoʻo ai hiki iā mākou ke lilo. Ke hana mākou e like me kēlā kūpono, a laila manaʻo mākou ʻo “ʻO wai lā wau.” Ke hele hewa mākou mai ia mea, manaʻo mākou "ʻaʻole naʻu ia."

Ua kūkākūkā ʻia kahi manaʻo pili e ka psychologist a me ka mea noiʻi pilina ʻo Eli Finkel. Kamaʻilio ʻo ia e pili ana i ka hanana Michelangelo. "Ma kā Michelangelo manaʻo," kākau ʻo Finkel, "aia ʻo Dāvida ma loko o ka pōhaku ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ke kālai ʻana."

ʻO ka manaʻo i loko o ka male olakino, ʻike kēlā me kēia kanaka i ka maikaʻi o kā lākou hoa, a kōkua lākou kekahi i kekahi e lilo i ʻano ʻoi loa.

Akā ʻo ko Baumeister manaʻo ʻo ia kā mākou ʻike ponoʻī o kā mākou pono ponoʻī (kahi a mākou e manaʻoʻiʻo nei ʻo ia ko mākou ʻoiaʻiʻo maoli) a ʻike ʻoi aku ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ke hana mākou kokoke i kēlā kūpono.

ʻO ka mea a ka poʻe e manaʻo ai ma ko lākou ʻano maoli ka mana o lākou iho e paʻa i kahi kūlana maikaʻi. ʻO ka mea i hoʻohālikelike ʻia e hana i kahi manaʻo maikaʻi i nā hoa a lākou e mahalo ai. Ke kokoke lākou i kēlā kūpono, e maikaʻi lākou. A hōʻike i ka manaʻo ʻoiaʻiʻo.

Ma kahi kokoke i ka hopena o ka ʻatikala, kākau ʻo Baumeister, "hōʻike ka poʻe i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻoiai ke hana nei i nā makemake kaiāulu, nā ala maikaʻi, i kūʻē i, e kūlike me ko lākou ʻano maoli, nā warts a me nā mea āpau."

Kōkua kēia manaʻo e hoʻonā i kahi puzzle ʻē aʻe i ke ola kaiaulu.

I loko o kahi pepa i kapa ʻia ʻo "kūlana Sacrificing no ke kuʻikahi kuʻikahi: hūnā ʻana i nā kūlana kūlana kiʻekiʻe mai nā hoa o kekahi," ua ʻike nā kānaka noiʻi e hūnā pinepine kekahi kanaka i kā lākou mau hana hoʻohanohano mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i mea e launa pū ai me ka hui.

Kākau nā kānaka noiʻi, "ʻoiai ka hūnā ʻana i ke kūlana kiʻekiʻe e mōhai ana i ke kūlana a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, manaʻo ka poʻe he mea hūnā ia no ka mea he mea hōʻemi ia i ka hoʻoweliweli iā ʻoe iho, nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, a me nā mea nona."

Kaʻana like ka poʻe i nā mea like a lākou me haʻi. Akā e kāohi i ka ʻike e hōʻike ana he kūlana kiʻekiʻe ko lākou.

Hōʻike nā kānaka noiʻi i nā poʻe e hana i kēia e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i ka hoʻoweliweli interpersonal. E laumania ai i nā pilina kanaka me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

Ka mea ʻano ʻē. E noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe makemake ka poʻe e:

1. E hōʻike i nā kikoʻī e hoʻonui ana i ke kūlana e pili ana iā lākou iho
2. E ʻoiaʻiʻo ma ke kaʻana like ʻana i ka ʻike ʻoiaʻiʻo

Akā ʻo kahi ala ʻē aʻe e nānā ai i kā lākou kāohi ʻana i ka ʻike ka poʻe mua i ka noho pū ʻana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Alakaʻi ʻia ka poʻe e kā lākou iho pono. ʻO ka iho makemake ʻia e nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. No laila, hoʻāʻo lākou ʻaʻole e kaena nui e pili ana i kā lākou mau mea i hoʻokō ai.