Huhū paha i kāu wahine? E kamaʻilio e pili ana i ia

Anter

• Nā kiko kī
• Ke huhū ʻoe a ʻike ʻoe iā ia: no ke aha he maʻamau a he aha e hana ai (a ʻAʻole Hana) No It
• 3 mau mea e ʻike ai ke huhū ʻoe i kāu wahine
• Nā Heluhelu Huhū Nui
• Pehea ka huhū o Hitler?

Nā kiko kī

• ʻOiai ʻaʻohe ʻano maikaʻi ʻole ka huhū, hiki i ka huhū ke hopena maikaʻi ʻole i kāu male inā ʻaʻole i hana maikaʻi ʻia.
• ʻO ka huhū ʻole a kāpae ʻia paha ka huhū e alakaʻi pinepine ai i ka huhū a me ke koʻikoʻi, kahi e weliweli loa ai ka male.
• ʻO ka huhū i kekahi manawa i kāu wahine he maʻamau ia; ʻo ke kaʻina hou aʻe e hōʻoia e hōʻike pono ana ʻoe i kou huhū.
• E mālama mau i kahi i loko o kāu male no kahi lokomaikaʻi liʻiliʻi a me ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa, a mākaukau e ʻae i nā hemahema o kekahi a me nā gaffs manawa.

Huhū paha ʻoe i kāu wahine? No ka hapanui o mākou, he ʻae ka pane. He kanaka mākou, ma hope o nā mea āpau, a ʻo ka huhū kahi manaʻo kanaka maʻamau.

Akā ʻoiai ʻaʻole huhū ka huhū ma mua, hiki i ka huhū ke hopena maikaʻi ʻole i kāu male inā ʻaʻole i hana maikaʻi ʻia.

Ke huhū ʻoe a ʻike ʻoe iā ia: no ke aha he maʻamau a he aha e hana ai (a ʻAʻole Hana) No It

Inā loaʻa kēia manaʻo iā ʻoe ʻaʻole e huhū kekahi mau kāne olakino kekahi i kekahi - a i ʻole ma ka liʻiliʻi "ʻaʻole" e huhū-ua hiki i ka manawa e haʻalele ai i kēlā manaʻoʻiʻo ʻole kōkua ʻole. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e hakakā ana nā kāne āpau. Wahi a ka loea pilina a me ka mea noiʻi ʻo Kauka John Gottman, ʻoiai nā kāne a me ke olakino olakino huhū i kekahi manawa, ʻū, a hoʻomehana ʻia nā lālani.

He aha hou aʻe, hiki i ka huhū ke lilo i pono no nā kāne ma nā hihia he nui. Kūpono ʻole? ʻOiaʻiʻo. Akā pono — ʻae! Hana pinepine ka huhū e like me ka catalist e kōkua i nā hoa male e kū i nā pilikia i hoʻoponopono ʻole ʻia.

ʻOiai, he hana paʻakikī ka noho ʻana i lalo a kūkā maoli i kahi pilikia e kūlia ana a me ka huhū e hāpai ai, akā ʻo ke kumukūʻai o ka hana ʻole ʻana he kiʻekiʻe loa ia. I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe: ʻo ka huhū ʻole a kāpae ʻia paha o ka huhū e alakaʻi pinepine ai i ka huhū a me ke koʻikoʻi — weliweli loa no ka male a me ke olakino kanaka.

No laila, ke ʻae like mākou i ka huhū ʻana i kekahi manawa i kāu wahine he mea maʻamau ia, ʻo ka mea e hiki mai ana e hōʻoia e hōʻike pono ana ʻoe i kou huhū. Eia kekahi mau laʻana o ka mea ʻaʻole e hana ke huhū ʻoe:

• Kuhikuhi i nā loiloi i ke ʻano o kāu wahine ("Poloi loa ʻoe!")
• Hana i nā laulā ākea a me nā manaʻo ("Hana mau ʻoe i kēia!")
• E hoʻohana i ka hoʻomāʻewaʻewa, hōʻino, kau i lalo, hilahila a me nā hana hōʻino, a me nā ʻōlelo hoʻoweliweli (me nā ʻōlelo hoʻoweliweli o ka hemo)
• E hoʻohana i ka "lapaʻau hūnā" a i ʻole "huhu hāmau" e ka hāʻawi ʻana i ka poʻohiwi anuanu a i ʻole kaohi aloha ʻana
• ʻEll, hoʻolei i nā mea, a hōʻike i nā ʻano hana kolohe ʻē aʻe
• E kamaʻilio a hana paha ke kiʻekiʻe a ikaika loa hoʻi kou naʻau

ʻAʻole hiki i nā pane maikaʻi ʻole e like me kēia ke hana i kahi loli maikaʻi-akā e pau lākou i ka ʻeha iā ʻoe, kāu wahine, a ʻo kāu poʻe keiki paha e pono e hōʻike i kāu hiʻohiʻona. Ma kahi o, eia kekahi mau ala olakino e hōʻike ai, kamaʻilio ai, a pane i kou huhū:

• Kālele nui i nā hana kikoʻī a kāu wahine a hana ʻole paha ("huhū loa wau poina ʻoe i ka lawe ʻana i ka ʻōpala a haʻalele iā mākou i ka ʻohi ʻōpala, ʻoiai ua hoʻomanaʻo wau iā ʻoe ʻekolu mau manawa")
• E kamaʻilio ke ʻike nui ʻoe i ka kaohi o kāu mau ʻōlelo a me kāu mau hana
• E hoʻohana i nā hoʻolālā hōʻoluʻolu iho e kōkua iā ʻoe iho e kiʻi i kahi mokuʻāina liʻiliʻi
• Kūkākūkā a mahalo i nā palena e pili ana i nā launa huhū ("Lawe mākou i kahi manawa 20 minuke inā hoʻomaka kekahi o mākou e hāpai i ko mākou mau leo ​​a i ʻole e ʻōlelo ana i kahi mea hoʻohaʻahaʻa")

3 mau mea e ʻike ai ke huhū ʻoe i kāu wahine

1. E ʻimi e maopopo ke kumu o kou huhū.

E kikoʻī e pili ana i kēia hiki. Huhū paha ʻoe no kekahi hana a hana ʻole paha mai kāu wahine? Huhū paha ʻoe i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe a lawe aku i kāu wahine? Huhū paha ʻoe no ka mea ua kuhi hewa ʻoe? Huhū paha ʻoe no ka mea ua hoʻā ʻia kahi ʻeha ʻeha kahiko, a i ʻole ʻaʻole ʻoe i hoʻopono piha me kāu wahine e pili ana i kahi mea e hoʻopilikia nei iā ʻoe?

ʻO ke kumu (a me nā kumu) no kou huhū, e loaʻa. E hoihoi. E hāmama ka noʻonoʻo. E ʻoluʻolu iā ʻoe iho i kēia kaʻina hana ʻimi. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo pono i ka manawa āpau, akā ma ka liʻiliʻi e hoʻolilo i kahi manawa noʻonoʻo mālie ma hope e loaʻa ai kahi ʻike. ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo e pili ana i ke kumu o kou huhū ʻo ia ka hana mua i ka haʻi ʻana i ka naʻau a neʻe iā ia.

2. E mālama i nā ʻenehana hōʻoluʻolu iho i kāu ʻeke hoʻi.

ʻAʻole ia e pili ana i ka huhū ʻole. E pili ana i ka ʻike pehea e hana ai me kou huhū ke hiki mai. A ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e like me ka mālie e like me Buddha ma mua o ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kāu wahine e pili ana i nā mea i hoʻonāukiuki loa iā ʻoe-e ʻike pono ʻoe ua hōʻoluʻolu ʻoe i hiki ai iā ʻoe ke noho kaohi iā ʻoe iho.

Pehea ʻoe e hoʻomaha ai? E ʻike i kāu mau hoʻolālā hōʻoluʻolu a hoʻomākaukau iā lākou — inā he hele lōʻihi paha ia, kahi hoʻomaʻamaʻa, kahi ʻauʻau huʻa, nane, he mau mokuna o kahi puke, ʻelua mau ʻaoʻao i ka puke pai, kahi hana hanu ʻelima mau minuke, a i ʻole kekahi mea ʻē aʻe. Inā pono ʻoe, e kākau i kāu papa inoa o nā "hoʻokele" i nā hoʻolālā hoʻokele huhū a nānā pinepine iā ia.

3. E mākaukau e kala aku.

Maʻalahi ke kani, akā e mākaukau e kala i kāu wahine.

E hoʻomanaʻo, ʻoiai e hiki i nā kāne a me ke olakino ke komo i loko o kekahi mau hakakā huhū a hoʻonāukiuki hoʻi. Akā ʻo ka mea nui, he mākau ko nā kāne olakino no ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kala ʻana a me ka ʻole o ka hou ʻana i nā mea liʻiliʻi. (ʻO nā kāne maikaʻi ke olakino e maikaʻi i ka hōʻike ʻana i ka huhū kūpono a hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻomaopopo i ke kumu o ko lākou huhū.)

Nā Heluhelu Huhū Nui

Pehea ka huhū o Hitler?