Pehea nā kāne e hana ai me nā ʻokoʻa i ka makemake moekolohe

Ke pili i ka moekolohe i nā pilina, ʻaʻohe mea e hiki ke noʻonoʻo ʻia he "maʻamau," a me ka nānā ʻana i nā averika e hōʻino wale i ka nui o ka ʻike moekolohe kanaka. No laila, no ka laʻana, inā e haʻohaʻo ana ʻoe i ka manawa pinepine o ka "pono" ʻana o nā kāne a me ka wahine, ua nele ʻoe i ke kiko. ʻOiai ʻike paha kekahi poʻe i hoʻokahi a ʻelua mau manawa paha o ka mahina ma mua o ka lawa e hoʻopaʻa iā lākou me kā lākou hoa, pono i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i kēlā me kēia lā a i ʻole pinepine pinepine. I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, ʻokoʻa loa ka poʻe i kā lākou pae o ka moekolohe.

Eia kekahi, ʻoiai i kēlā me kēia pae, hiki i nā kānaka ke ʻike i nā ʻokoʻa i ka makemake moekolohe. Kuhi ʻoe i kekahi mau lā i kahi pono kuni, ʻaʻole nui nā lā ʻē aʻe. A laila aia kekahi mau manawa ke hiki ʻole i kekahi mea ke kiʻi iā ʻoe i ke ʻano. ʻO kēia laulā o nā ʻokoʻa ʻelua - ma waena o nā kānaka a ma waena o nā kānaka - ʻo ia wale nō ka mea "maʻamau" e pili ana i ka makemake moekolohe.

Hāʻawi ʻia i kēia mau ʻokoʻa, ʻaʻole hiki ke alo ʻia ka pili ʻana o nā kāne a me ka wahine. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo kēia kekahi o nā kumu maʻamau e ʻimi ai nā kāne i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo. Akā me ke kōkua ʻole a loaʻa ʻole paha, loaʻa i nā kāne a me nā ala e kūkākūkā ai i nā ʻokoʻa o ka makemake moekolohe, ʻoiai paha e ʻoi aku paha kekahi o kēia mau mea ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe.

I mea e hoʻomālamalama ai i kēia pilikia, ua noi aku ka psychologist o ke Kulanui o Southampton (ʻEnelani) ʻo Laura Vowels a me kāna hoapili ʻo Kristen Mark i nā mākua he 229 i loko o nā pilina paʻa e wehewehe i nā kumumanaʻo a lākou e hoʻohana ai e hoʻokele i ka makemake ʻole i ka moekolohe me kā lākou hoa. Ua hōʻike nā kānaka noiʻi i nā hopena o kēia noi ʻana i ka helu o ka Pūnaewele o ka moekolohe .

ʻO ka mea mua, ua pane ka poʻe komo i nā ana i manaʻo ʻia e loiloi i kā lākou pae nui o ka leʻaleʻa moekolohe, ka hauʻoli o ka pilina, a me ka makemake wahine. ʻAʻole i loaʻa i nā kānaka noiʻi he ʻokoʻa wahine ma ke ʻano o ka moekolohe a me ka pilina. Eia nō naʻe, ʻoi aku ka manaʻo o nā kāne ma mua o nā wahine e hōʻike i kahi kiʻekiʻe o ka makemake moekolohe ma mua o kā lākou hoa, e kūlike me ka noiʻi mua.

A laila, ua noi ʻia i nā poʻe e hōʻike e hōʻike i nā hoʻolālā a lākou i hoʻohana ai e kūkākūkā i nā ʻokoʻa i ka moekolohe me kā lākou hoa. Ua helu pū lākou i ko lākou māʻona me kēlā me kēia ʻōkuhi a lākou i hoʻohana ai. He nīnau hāmama kēia no ka mea makemake nā mea noiʻi e hōʻiliʻili i nā ʻano hana like ʻole i hiki.

Ma hope iho, ua alakaʻi nā mea noiʻi i kahi ʻikepili ʻike, a hiki iā lākou ke hōʻuluʻulu i nā kumumanaʻo i ʻōlelo ʻia i ʻelima mau kumuhana, a lākou i koho ai e like me ka pae o ka moekolohe. (He mea nui e hoʻomaopopo ma aneʻi no nā kumu o kēia noi ʻana ua wehewehe ʻia ka “moekolohe” ma ke ʻano he moekolohe.) Eia ka mea i loaʻa i ka poʻe noiʻi.

• Ka haʻalele ʻana. ʻO ka hoa me ka makemake moekolohe haʻahaʻa e hōʻole i ka holomua a i ʻole nā ​​kūʻē iā lākou, ʻoiai e hāʻawi aku ka hoa me ka makemake kiʻekiʻe i ka moekolohe a i ʻole nā ​​kahawai i ko lākou mau manaʻo i nā hana moekolohe ʻole e like me ka hoʻoikaika kino a me nā leʻaleʻa. ʻOiai ʻo 11 pākēneka o nā mea pane i hōʻike i ka haʻalele ʻana me kā lākou hoa, ʻo 9 wale nō ka pākēneka o kēia mau mea i ʻike he papa hana i alakaʻi ʻia i nā hopena hopena. ʻO nā hoʻolālā āpau no ka hana ʻana i nā ʻokoʻa i ka makemake moekolohe, ʻo ka haʻalele ʻana ka mea kōkua nui loa. He hiki nō paha iā ia ke hōʻino i ka pilina ma ka holo lōʻihi.
• Palapala. Kūkākūkā nā kāne i nā kumu no ka discrepancy makemake i ka moekolohe a hoʻāʻo e ʻimi i kahi hopena hoʻonāukiuki, e like me ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana i ka moekolohe no kekahi manawa ʻē aʻe. ʻO 11 wale nō pākēneka o nā mea pane i hōʻike ua hoʻohana lākou i kēia hoʻolālā, akā no kēia mau mea, he 57 pākēneka i ʻōlelo ua kōkua lākou. Hoʻopili kokoke ʻia nā kāne a hiki i ka wā e hiki ai iā lākou ke kamaʻilio ākea a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e pili ana i ko lākou mau manaʻo a me nā makemake, a hiki paha iā lākou ke hoʻonā i ko lākou ʻokoʻa i ka moekolohe ma ka hana ʻana pēlā. Eia nō naʻe, hiki i nā hoʻāʻo ʻana i ke kamaʻilio ke alakaʻi i ka huhū ke lilo i mea pale a i ʻole hōʻoluʻolu ʻole ke kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i nā pilikia pili wahine.
• Hoʻopili i ka hana me ka ʻole o ka hoa. Ua komo kēia kumuhana i nā hana e like me ka masturbation solo, ka nānā ʻana i ka porn, a me ka heluhelu ʻana i nā puke aloha a i ʻole erotica. Ma kahi o ka hapahā o nā mea pane (27 pākēneka) hana me ka hōʻole wahine i kēia ala, a kokoke i ka hapalua o kēia (46 pākēneka) i ʻike he kōkua maikaʻi. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ma mua o ka hapalua o nā mea pane i ʻōlelo ʻia i ka masturbation ma ke ʻano he hoʻokahi o kā lākou hoʻolālā, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole kā lākou ala i hoʻohana pinepine ʻia. Ma ke ʻano he pani-pani no kahi hoʻokaʻawale manawa ʻole i ka makemake moekolohe, hoʻonāukiuki ponoʻī ʻo ia kahi hopena kūpono maikaʻi. Eia nō naʻe, kūkulu paha ka huhū inā manaʻo kekahi hoa ʻo kēia wale nō ke ala e hiki ai ke hoʻokō i kā lākou moekolohe.
• Hoʻopili pū i ka hana. Hoʻopili kēia i nā hana e like me ka cuddling, nā lomilomi, a me ka ʻauʻau ʻana i hiki ʻole a alakaʻi paha i ka moekolohe. ʻOkoʻa, hiki i ka hoa makemake haʻahaʻa ke hāʻawi i kahi hana moekolohe ʻē aʻe, e like me ka masturbation a me ka wahine waha. Ma mua o ka hapakolu o nā mea pane (38 pākēneka) i hōʻike e hoʻohana ana i kahi ala, a ʻoi aku ma mua o ka hapalua o kēia (54 pākēneka) i alakaʻi ʻia i nā hopena hopena. ʻOiai ʻo nā hana moekolohe ʻole, e like me ke kuke ʻana i ka pāʻina pū a i ʻole ka paʻa ʻana o nā lima i ka wā e hele wāwae ana i ka pāka, hiki ke lilo i mau ʻike pili paʻa nui no nā kāne, a hiki i kēia mau mea ke kōkua i ka hoa makemake haʻahaʻa e hoihoi hou i ka hoihoi wahine i kā lākou mea nui ʻē aʻe.
• E moe kolohe nō. No kekahi mau kāne, hāʻawi ka mea makemake haʻahaʻa i "wikiwiki" ma kahi o "piha wahine." ʻAe kekahi i ka moekolohe e like me ka maʻamau ʻoiai ʻaʻole lākou i ke ʻano, ʻike pinepine ʻia e ala aʻe i ka hana. ʻO nā mea pane i hōʻike e hoʻohana ana i kēia ala, hōʻike pinepine lākou i ko lākou manaʻoʻiʻo i ke koʻikoʻi o ka moekolohe i ka pilina a me ko lākou makemake e māʻona i nā pono o kā lākou hoa. ʻOiai he 14 wale nō pākēneka o nā mea pane i ʻōlelo ua hoʻohana lākou i kēia ala, ʻoi aku ma mua o ka hapalua o lākou (58 pākēneka) i ʻōlelo ua hauʻoli lākou i nā hopena.

Hōʻike kēia noiʻi i ka hoʻohana ʻana o nā kāne i nā ʻōkuhi like ʻole e hana i nā ʻokoʻa i ka makemake moekolohe a hiki i kēlā me kēia ke kumu kūpono i ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i ka pilikia.

ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale wale nō, ka mea e ʻinoʻino i ka pilina, keu hoʻi ke lilo i hana maʻamau. Inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hōʻole ana i ka neʻe ʻana o ka moekolohe o kāu hoa, pono ʻoe e haʻi i nā kumu no kou nele i ka hoihoi a hāʻawi i kāu hoa pili ʻole i ka wahine no ka hoʻopaʻa. Pono ʻoe e hāmama i ka hiki i ka ʻiʻo o ka moekolohe ke hoʻi i ka manawa e loaʻa ai kāu pilina a me nā pono e pili ana i ka naʻau.

Pēlā nō, inā ʻike ʻoe i kāu mau moe kolohe i hana hou ʻia thwarted, pono ʻoe e wehe i kahi kahawai kamaʻilio me kāu hoa, ʻaʻole e hoʻopau iā lākou. Eia kekahi, he mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo i ka hoʻolohe ʻana he mea ʻoi aku ka nui ma mua o ke kamaʻilio ʻana inā makemake ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i kahi e hele mai ai kāu hoa. Ke hui ʻoe me ko lākou mau pono ʻē aʻe, ʻike paha ʻoe iā lākou e hoʻomehana nei iā ʻoe pū kekahi.

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