Makuahine i lili i ka lakou kaikamahine

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• Nā Heluhelu Pono Pono lili
• Ke hūnā nei ʻoe i kou mālamalama ma lalo o kahi Bushel?

I koʻu kākau ʻana E maikaʻi paha wau ?: Hoʻola i nā kaikamahine a nā makuahine Narcissistic , Ua ʻike wau ua lohe pinepine wau i kekahi ʻano o nā moʻolelo ʻehaʻeha, e like me nā poʻomanaʻo i kahi ʻāpana mele. ʻO kekahi kumuhana ka lili o nā makuahine i kā lākou kaikamahine. Ua ala pinepine wau i ka hoʻopili ʻana iā ia i loko o ka mea aʻu e kapa nei ʻo "Ten Stingers" o ka dynamika-kaikamahine ke ʻano he kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe o nā ʻano narcissistic.

Haʻaheo nā makuahine maʻamau, olakino i kā lākou keiki a makemake lākou e ʻālohilohi. Akā ʻike paha kahi makuahine narcissistic i kāna kaikamahine he mea hoʻoweliweli. Inā huki ʻia ka nānā mai ka makuahine, hiki i ke keiki ke ʻimi i ka hoʻopaʻi, waiho i lalo, a me nā hoʻopaʻi. Hiki i ka makuahine ke lili i kāna kaikamahine no nā kumu he nui — kona mau hiʻohiʻona, kona wā ʻōpio, nā mea waiwai, nā mea i hoʻokō ʻia, nā aʻo ʻana a me ka pilina o ke kaikamahine me ka makuakāne. He paʻakikī kēia lili no ke kaikamahine ʻoiai ke lawe nei i kahi leka pālua:

• ʻO Samantha ka mea liʻiliʻi i loko o ka ʻohana. Ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia he nui ka hapa nui o kona mau ʻohana, e like me kona makuahine, ka mea momona. I ka manawa o Samantha i 22, haehae kona makuahine i kona kapa mai kona lumi lole a hoʻolei iā lākou i ka papahele o ka lumi moe, e ʻōlelo ana, "ʻO wai ka mea hiki ke komo i ka nui 4 i kēia mau lā? ʻO wai ʻoe i manaʻo ai? Pono ʻoe i anorexic, a ʻoi aku kā mākou e kōkua iā ʻoe. "
• Ua haʻiʻo Felice iaʻu, "Makemake mau koʻu makuahine iaʻu e nani akā ʻaʻole nani. He pūhaka iki koʻu, akā inā wau e kāʻei i wehewehe i koʻu pūhaka, ua haʻi ʻo ia iaʻu ua like wau me ka mea palau.
• Ua hōʻike kaumaha ʻo Mary, “ʻ tellslelo mai ʻo Māmā iaʻu he maikaʻi ʻole wau, akā naʻe e pono wau e hele i laila a nani ke kulu-make. ʻO wau ka moho mōʻī wahine hoʻi a hana haʻaheo ʻo Māmā me kāna mau hoaaloha akā hoʻopaʻi iaʻu. Aia kēia leka hana pupule: ʻAno ʻole ka maoli, akā e kuhi hewa wau i ka honua maoli. ʻAʻole nō i loaʻa. ”

ʻOiai he nui ka poʻe e manaʻoʻiʻo i ka lili ʻia he makemake nui ia, he mana ikaika, i ka lili maoli ʻia ʻana, ʻo ia hoʻi e ka makuahine ponoʻī, he mea weliweli a weliweli hoʻi. Ua hoʻopau ʻia ke ʻano o ke kaikamahine e ka hoʻowahāwahā a me ka hoʻohewa. Nīnau ʻia a kapa ʻia paha kona maikaʻi, a i hoʻomālamalama ʻia, a ʻo ia ke kumu e like me "ua luku ʻia kona maoli i ke kanaka" ( ʻO Cinderella a me kāna mau kaikuahine: ka lili a me ka lili ). Ke nānā nei ke kaikamahine i ka mea a kona makuahine i lili ai, ua manaʻo ʻo ia ʻaʻole pono. He mea ʻole i ke kaikamahine ke loaʻa i kona makuahine ponoʻī kēia mau manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole nona. Ke hoʻāʻo nei ke kaikamahine i kāna mea e pono ai e hoʻomaopopo i ke kūlana a hoʻoholo i kekahi mea e hewa iā ia.

Ua ʻike wau he paʻakikī nā kaikamahine a nā makuahine narcissistic ke kūkākūkā i ka lili mai kā lākou mau makuahine ponoʻī, a ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka ʻōlelo ʻana me ia. ʻAʻole ʻike lākou i kā lākou pono iho e lawa ai e hoʻomaopopo i ka lili makuahine no ka mea. Ma kahi o ka manaʻo ua hana hewa lākou. Inā lākou i hoʻopaʻa i loko i kēia manaʻo “ʻaʻole lawa kūpono”, ʻaʻole lākou e ʻike iā lākou iho me he mea lā e lili kekahi. He hana pupule ka hana a ke kaikamahine. Hoʻokumu ia i nā pale i ke olakino olakino a me ke kūkulu ʻana i ka manaʻo iā ʻoe iho.

I kēia manawa, he aha ka mea e hana nei me ka makuahine? ʻAe ka lili i ka makuahine palekana ʻole e noʻonoʻo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka manawa nona iho. Ke lili a laila hoʻohewa a hoʻowahāwahā i ke kaikamahine, hoʻoliʻiliʻi ia i ka hoʻoweliweli i kona manaʻo pilikino palupalu iā ia iho. He mea hana ikaika ka lili i loko o kahi repertoire a kahi narcissist; e ʻike ʻoe i kēia i ka launa pū ʻana o ka makuahine me kekahi poʻe ʻē aʻe pū kekahi. Akā ke kuhikuhi ʻia i ke kaikamahine, hana ia i kahi ʻano o ka kōkua ʻole a me ka kānalua ʻole iā ʻoe iho. ʻOiai he nui nā ala a ka lili o ka makuahine e hana ai i mau pale no ke kaikamahine, e nānā i kekahi mau mea:

Hoʻolālā Sabotage. ʻOiai ke ulu nei ke kaikamahine ʻōpio ua hoʻohana ʻo ia i kona makuahine ma ke ʻano o kāna kumu mua no ka lilo ʻana i kaikamahine, wahine, hoa aloha, ipo, a kanaka i ka honua. Inā hoʻokau kēia makuahine iā ia i lalo, a lili i kāna mau mea i hana ai, ʻaʻole huikau wale ke keiki, akā hāʻawi pinepine. Ma muli o ka hana a ka makua e hoʻopiha ai i kēlā me kēia pae ulu me ka hānai ʻana, ke aloha, ke kākoʻo a me ka paipai ʻana, ua ʻike ke kaikamahine i ka hakahaka i hiki ʻole iā ia ke wehewehe. Makemake ka hapa nui o nā keiki e hōʻoluʻolu i ko lākou mau mākua, no laila inā hāʻawi ʻia i kēia memo huikau, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi a ʻoi aku ka palekana o ka hana ʻole ʻana a no laila ʻaʻole e hōʻike iā ʻoe iho i ka hoʻopiʻi. ʻO ka ʻōlelo mai Māmā: “Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e kūleʻa, hāʻawi pio!”

Ka pilina pilina me ka makuakāne. ʻOiaʻiʻo, pono i nā keiki ke loaʻa i nā pilina olakino me nā mākua ʻelua. Inā lili ka makuahine i ka pilina o ke kaikamahine me ka makuakāne, pehea ka hana a ke kaikamahine? Makemake ʻo ia e aloha nā mākua ʻelua iā ia. ʻO wai kāna e ʻoluʻolu ai? Pehea ʻo ia e lawelawe ai i kēia kaulike lahilahi? ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o ka nīnau o ka mea a ka makuakāne e hana ai. ʻO ka manawa pinepine nā kāne i ka pilina me nā wahine narcissists e koho i ka mālama i ka makuahine i mea e mālama ai i ka pilina makua. Haʻalele kēlā i ka makuakāne ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻohui me kāna kaikamahine a ʻoiaʻiʻo e haʻalele kēia i ke kaikamahine me ka pili ʻole o ka naʻau me nā mākua ʻelua.

Hoʻohenehene. ʻO nā hihia ʻoi loa o ka lili a ka makuahine-kaikamahine i loko o nā ʻohana kahi e loaʻa ai ka moekolohe. Inā hewa ka makuakāne a lili ka makuahine i ka pilina makua kāne, a laila lilo ʻo ia i lawehala a ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻokau i ke kaikamahine ma mua. Ma kahi o ia, ʻike ʻo ia i kāna kaikamahine e like me "ka wahine ʻē aʻe," e hele ana ma hope o kāna kāne. pono ʻo ia, a haʻalele i ka mea lawehala. Eia nō naʻe, ʻike mākou i kekahi manawa i ka lili o ka lili i ka makuahine. He mea hōʻeha kēia naʻau

Nā Heluhelu Pono Pono lili

Ke hūnā nei ʻoe i kou mālamalama ma lalo o kahi Bushel?