ʻO kahi moʻolelo o ka Adoption a me ka maʻi hoʻopili hoʻopili hou

ʻAʻole hiki iā Dr. T ke ʻoluʻolu hou i ka holomua o Julia. Ma 18 mau mahina, aia kaʻu pēpē i ka 95 ^ʻ. pakeneka no kona kaumaha. E kamaʻilio ana ʻo ia, e hele wāwae ana, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kona kani mākala. ʻO nā hōʻailona maikaʻi āpau no ke keiki i hānai ʻia ma 14 mau mahina ma mua mai kahi keiki makua ʻole Siberian.

Hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻo Kauka T i ka mālama ʻana i nā keiki i lawe a puni ka honua. I ka wā o ke kipa maikaʻi a ke kaikamahine ʻekolu, ua paipai ʻo ia i ka lua o nā lāʻau āpau no ka mea ʻaʻole ia i hilinaʻi i nā mea i loaʻa iā ia ma Rūsia. Nīnau ʻo ia iaʻu pehea ʻo Julia e ʻai nei, e nānā pono ana i kāna mau bifocals e heluhelu i kāna pakuhi. Ua haʻi wau iā ia aia ʻo ia ma kahi meaola, nā meaʻai holoʻokoʻa, ʻai ʻole kaʻiʻo. ʻLelo ʻo ia, "maikaʻi," a me ke ʻano aniani i kona maka, hoʻohui ʻia, "Nani ʻo ia. Ke hana nei ʻoe i kahi hana maikaʻi loa. E hoʻihoʻi iā ia i loko o ʻeono mau mahina. ”

I kona hoʻomaka ʻana e heʻe mai ka lumi hoʻokolokolo mai, ua haʻalulu wau, "E kali, he nīnau kaʻu."

Ua nānā hoʻomanawanui ʻo ia iaʻu.

"Pehea wau e ʻike ai inā maikaʻi ʻo Julia, ʻike ʻoe, noʻonoʻo, ʻuhane?"

Hoʻomaha ʻo ia.

Ua wehewehe au iā ia ʻo kaʻu kaikamahine lauoho lauoho, kahi keiki ʻālohilohi ʻokoʻa, ʻaʻole pili iaʻu a nānā ʻole i ka maka a hoʻomanawanui paha i ka mālama ʻia. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e kiʻi i koʻu lima a ʻae ʻole iaʻu e heluhelu iā ia a pāʻani pū paha me ia. He ʻano manic ʻo ia, i ʻōlelo wau, e haʻohaʻo ana inā he huaʻōlelo maikaʻi kēlā e hoʻohana ai. Hoʻomaha ʻole ʻo ia ke kaohi ʻia i kahi moe moe a i kahi kaʻa kaʻa kaʻa paha. ʻAʻole loa ʻo ia e hoʻomaha i ka ʻapo aloha. Ke kāohi nei a paʻakikī ʻo ia. ʻAʻole i kekahi manawa. I nā manawa āpau.

Me ka nalo ʻole o kahi pāka ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia, "Hiki iā ʻoe ke wehewehe i kahi mea i kapa ʻia ʻo React Attachment Disorder." ʻO RAD, e like me kaʻu e ʻike ai ma hope, kahi maʻi maʻi i ʻike ʻia i nā keiki hānai he nui, ʻo ia hoʻi mai Russia a me ʻEulopa ʻEulopa. Pilikia nā pēpē i ka hoʻopili ʻana i kā lākou mau mākua hānai no ka mea ua trauma a mālama ʻole ʻia lākou, a ʻike lākou i ka makua hānai he kahu ʻē aʻe i haʻalele a haʻalele paha iā lākou. ʻOiai he ʻōpio lākou, hohonu hohonu lākou e hilinaʻi nei ʻo lākou wale nō ka mea hiki iā lākou ke hilinaʻi iā lākou iho. He kūlana paʻakikī ia, ʻaʻole i hoʻomaopopo ʻia e nā kaukukī pediatric he nui.

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Kauka T he hikiwawe loa paha ke kuhiʻike. ʻŌpio ʻo Julia. A laila nānā ʻo ia iaʻu, ʻike i ka makaʻu ma koʻu mau maka, a hoʻohui, "Mai hopohopo. He manawa kāu. "

I mea e kinai ai i ka weliweli weliweli, ua ʻōlelo mau wau iaʻu iho "He manawa kā mākou, he manawa kā mākou. E hoʻopaʻa ʻo Julia. ”

ʻO 40 a me kaʻu kāne i ka wā a māua i lawe ai iā Julia. He mea kākau nūhou wau. He loio leta ʻo ia. ʻAʻole i ka wā o ke kaʻina hana hānai i ka makahiki 2003, ʻaʻole i haʻi kekahi iā React Attachment Disorder iā mākou. Ua lohe mua wau ua ʻōlelo ʻia ia ma mākou i Siberia. Ua lawe aku kekahi mau kāne ʻē aʻe i kā lāua keiki Lūkini ʻelua i ka manawa like a mākou e hānai iā Julia i ka hopohopo ke hui lāua me kā lāua keiki pēpē no ka mea ʻaʻole i nānā ka pēpē a pane ʻole ʻo ia. ʻAʻole wau i lawa ka ʻike e hoʻolohe i kā lākou hopena haʻalulu. Lohe hou wau i ka huaʻōlelo i ka wā e kamaʻilio ana i kahi hoa aloha ʻohana, psychotherapist, akā ke kamaʻilio nei ʻo ia i nā hahau ākea, a ke nānā nei i lalo i kaʻu kamaliʻi aloha, a ʻōlelo maila, "Mai hopohopo. Maikaʻi ʻo ia. "

ʻOiai ma hope o ka ʻōlelo ʻana a Kauka T no ka maʻi maʻi, ʻaʻole wau i mākaukau e ʻae i kēia wehewehe, ʻoiai inā e wehewehe ʻia ke kumu o koʻu lawa ʻole i ka makuahine. Lawe ʻia i ʻelua mau makahiki, i ka wā ʻehā o Julia a loaʻa ke kauoha o ka ʻōlelo, na māua me kaʻu kāne ʻo Ricky e hana i ko māua ola e hoʻomaopopo i ka React Attachment Disorder, a e hana i nā mea e pono ai mākou e hana e hoʻopakele i kā mākou kaikamahine mai ka wahi kaʻawale ua paʻa ʻo ia i loko.

ʻO kahi kikoʻī, lawe ia i kahi lā maikaʻi ʻole ma kahi ʻahamele kula hānai e hana i ka hana mua e pono ai e hoʻohuli i ko mākou ola, e "hoʻopakele iā Julia Twice," ʻoiai i kapa ʻia kaʻu puke. I loko o kahi manawa hoʻomaha ua haki wau a uē no ka mea ua ʻike wau i ke ʻano mehameha a me ka neʻe ʻana a me ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana o kaʻu kaikamahine. ʻAʻole hiki iā Julia ke hīmeni pū me ka hui. ʻO kāna hana haunaele i koi aku i kahi kumu e lawe iā ia mai ke kahua a haʻalele i ka lumi. ʻAʻole like paha kēia me he hanana ʻano ʻokoʻa loa na ke keiki ʻōpio - akā i ke kau ʻana i ka pōʻaiapili, ua maopopo iaʻu ma laila a ma laila, pono wau e komo.

Ua hui pū wau me kaʻu kāne e heluhelu i nā mea āpau i nā puke, nā noiʻi olakino a me ka pūnaewele e hiki ai iā mākou ke hana ma ka maʻi maʻi. Ua piha kā mākou kāleka bingo. ʻO Julia ke keiki poster no RAD. Ua hana mākou i kahi hana i kuhi ʻia a me ka hoʻokō paʻa e kōkua i kā mākou kaikamahine a hana iā mākou iho i ʻohana. ʻO kā mākou hana i kēlā me kēia lā. Ua aʻo mākou i ka hānai ʻana i kahi keiki i ka pilikia o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana e koi ai i nā ʻano mākua counter-intuitive - kekahi i hoʻopilikia a pīhoihoi i ka ʻohana a me nā hoaaloha. ʻAʻole hiki i ka poʻe ke hoʻomaopopo i ka wā e pane ai mākou i ko Julia kaniʻuhū ʻana me ka helehelena poker passive ma mua o ka hoʻolana iā ia. ʻAakaʻaka mākou i ka wā o kāna huhū a hiki i kona haʻalele ʻana iā lākou, a neʻe e like me ka mea ʻaʻole i hiki ke hana ʻia no ka mea ua hoʻokau nā keiki o RAD i ka haunaele a he mea nui ia e lawe i ka hana keaka. ʻAʻole maopopo iā lākou ʻaʻole makemake ʻo Julia e hāʻawi i nā ʻapo a ʻaʻole mākou i noi iā ia e hana pēlā. Me ke kōkua o ka noiʻi a me nā hihia hihia, loaʻa iā mākou kahi pahu mea hana. He mea waiwai kekahi ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo, a ua kūleʻa kekahi. Ua hana kekahi mau hana i kekahi manawa. Noho mākou i loko o kahi keʻena hoʻokolohua. Ua ʻike wau i koʻu laki i ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoa like me Ricky no ka mea he nui ka nui o ka male a me nā home i hōʻino ʻia e ka ʻaʻa o ka lawe ʻana i nā keiki paʻakikī.

I ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, ua ʻoi aku ka nui o ka hoʻopili me Julia. ʻAʻole ia he aloha a mehana i ka mua akā ke neʻe nei i ke ala kūpono. Ke huki nei mākou iā ia. Ua lilo ʻo ia i mea hiki ke hōʻike i ka huhū ma mua o ka nānā ʻole. I ka ulu ʻana o kona mākau waha, ua loaʻa iā mākou ka pōmaikaʻi o ka hiki ke wehewehe aku iā ia ua aloha mākou iā ia a ʻaʻole loa e haʻalele iā ia. Ua maopopo iā mākou ka makaʻu iā ia e aloha ʻia ai e kahi mākua a palekana ʻo ia. Ua aʻo mākou iā ia i ka ʻoluʻolu ke nānā aku mākou iā ia i ka maka, a hoʻomaʻamaʻa iā ia e hana like. ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka ʻeha o kona wehe ʻana i kuʻu puʻuwai a hoʻonui iaʻu i ke aloha, a me ka hoʻoikaika hou e lilo i makuahine nona.

Ua hoʻolōʻihi ka holomua - a ʻo ka hana o ka noho paʻa ʻana me kahi keiki ʻeha kahi hana o ke ola. Ua puka ʻo Julia i waho o ka wahi weliweli i ka wā he ʻelima aʻeono paha ona makahiki. Ua hoʻoluliluli ʻo ia i kona mahiole a me kāna mea kaua. Ua ʻae ʻo ia iaʻu e lilo i makuahine. Hoʻohanohano wau i kēlā hilinaʻi me ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana, i kēlā me kēia lā, pehea ʻo ia e hakakā ai me nā daimonio subconscious a me ka ikaika o kāna kaua a me ka wā mau.

Ma ka makahiki 11, he mea kupanaha ia iaʻu. ʻAʻole wale ia i kāna ace keaka hoʻomākeʻaka e hiki ai iā ia ke kaha kiʻi i nā kaha kiʻi sophisticated a i ʻole ke ʻano o ka hoʻokani pila ʻana a me ka hana maikaʻi ʻana paha i ke kula. ʻO ka mea ʻoi loa kāna hana e ʻae nei i ke aloha. ʻOiai ʻo ia ka lua o ka ʻano no ka hapa nui o nā ʻohana, no mākou he lanakila.

Kuleana kope ʻo Tina Traster