Ma laila no ka lokomaikaʻi o Meds

Ke kali nei wau i ka laina ma ka hale kūʻai lāʻau e kiʻi i kahi palapala. ʻAʻole wau hauʻoli. ʻO kēia kekahi o kaʻu mau lāʻau i ʻoi aku ke kumukūʻai, a ʻaʻole wau i nānā i mua i ka make ʻana ma mua o hoʻokahi haneli kālā i makemake nui ʻia ma kahi ʻē. I koʻu kali ʻana, noʻonoʻo wau: no ke aha lā wau e lawe nei i kēia lāʻau? He antipsychotic hui ʻole ia, a ʻaʻole au i psychotic. Ma laila paha e komo ai ka ʻāpiki. ʻO wai ka mea ʻike? ʻAʻole nō iaʻu, a ʻaʻole paha ʻo kaʻu kauka, no kāna CV he iwakālua ʻaoʻao. ʻAʻole maopopo maoli kekahi i nā ʻano hana o kēia mau lāʻau psychotropic no ka mea ʻaʻohe mea i ʻike i ke kumu o ka maʻi bipolar ma mua. ʻO kahi kīpoki, kahi ʻimi kilokilo, kahi ʻōpala i ka ipukukui o nā genie.

Akā kali au i ka lālani, a ua puka wau i kaʻu kāleka hōʻaiʻē no ka mea ʻo ia kāu mea e hana ai ke kūleʻa ʻoe i ka lāʻau: hoʻokō ʻoe.

Ua wehe ka puka o waho, a i ʻole ua wehe ʻia ka puka e kahi wahine waena. I loko o kahi leo i lawa ka leo e hiki ai i kēlā me kēia kihi o ka hale kūʻai lāʻau, ua walaʻau ʻo ia, "ʻAʻole au e hele i ka hale paʻahao mōʻī!" Ua ukali ʻia e kahi kaula o ka hōʻino, nā mea hōʻino ʻole ʻaʻole wau e hoʻāʻo e hana hou iā lākou ma aneʻi. Ua nānā koke wau iā ia a hoʻi i hope, e like me nā poʻe ʻelua ʻē aʻe me aʻu.

Ua hele a hele a helehelena kona lole, ua helehelena loa ke alo, a pilau ka pilau o ka hou a me ka mimi iā ia. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i nānā iaʻu a i ʻole i kekahi. Hoʻomau wale nō ʻo ia e hōʻino i kahi leo ʻino loa a huhū loa i kuʻu mau pepeiao. Makemake wau e haʻalele, akā ke ālai nei ʻo ia i ka puka.

"Kāhea i kaʻu kauka akua!" ʻUā ʻo ia. "Hana iā ia! Kāhea iā ia! ʻAʻole wau e hele i ka hale paʻahao ʻo f * * *! ”

Ua huhū wau, ʻaʻole no ka pilau a i ʻole koʻu makaʻu, akā no ka mea ua hina wau i loko o ka déjà vu. He ʻumikūmālima paha makahiki i hala aku nei, a ke hele wāwae nei wau ma ke kahua kūʻai kūʻai ma Malibu. ʻĀ, ʻo ka hele wāwae ʻana ʻaʻole paha ia ka huaʻōlelo kūpono. Kūleʻa wau. Papa inoa. Ke noi nei e heʻe i kahi laina pololei, a hāʻule ʻole. ʻAʻole wau i ʻona, akā ke lawe nei wau i kahi lāʻau hou i kapa ʻia ʻo monoamine oxidase mea kāohi, a i ʻole MAOI no ka pōkole. He lāʻau laʻa hope loa ia no ke kūpilikiʻi kūpaʻa kūpaʻa, a inā ʻaʻole wau i makemake nui loa, ʻaʻole loa wau e lawe.

Ua nāwaliwali maoli nā hopena ʻaoʻao: Inā ʻoe e ʻai i ka pizza a i ʻole ka mea ʻono a i ʻole nā ​​meaʻai ʻē aʻe i loaʻa kahi mea i kapa ʻia ʻo tyramine, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻeha i kahi maʻi make. Pēlā nō inā lawe ʻoe iā ia me nā lāʻau antidepressants ʻē aʻe a i ʻole nā ​​lāʻau allergy. A i ʻole ka ʻalekohola. Niggling nā pilikia liʻiliʻi e like me kēlā. Akā ʻo ka mea e hopohopo nui nei iaʻu ʻo ia nā kilokilo pohihihi ʻole a koʻikoʻi hoʻi i ʻike mau ʻia e wau. Maikaʻi wau i ka lōʻihi o koʻu noho ʻana i lalo, akā ke kū nei wau a hele wāwae paha ʻaʻole wau i ʻike inā ʻike wau e maule ana i nā lima o kahi malihini. ʻAʻohe mea aloha e pili ana i kēia mau puaʻa. ʻOi aku ka nui ma mua o ka ʻole, ua hina wau a pā i koʻu poʻo a i ʻole loaʻa i kahi ʻeha maikaʻi ʻole i koʻu kino ʻeleʻele a me ka uliuli.

I kēlā awakea kikoʻī e manaʻo ana wau i kaʻu woozy maʻamau — no ka mea ua lawe wau i kahi kaʻa i ke kahua kūʻai, kahi mālama nui, akā ʻaʻole wau i makemake e makaʻu i ka hoʻokele, a he pilikia maoli kēia: alualu i ka lua o nā jeans pono no kahi lā e hiki mai ana a e paʻa ana ka hale kūʻai iā lākou iaʻu a hiki i ka manawa pani. (E like me ka hapanui o nā wahine e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ai, e hele mākou i nā lōʻihi no nā blues maikaʻi.) Me he mea lā mamao loa mai ka wahi kaʻa i ka hale kūʻai, a noho wau i mau manawa ʻelua e loaʻa ai ke kaulike.

I koʻu ala ʻana i ke kolu o ka manawa, maopopo iaʻu he kuhihewa kēlā. Ua hele wau i kekahi mau kapuai haʻalulu, a hoʻopuni ʻia wau e kahi keʻokeʻo makapō. Lohe wau i kahi kani nui e like me ka mea i hoʻopulapula ʻia e nā pi, akā ma mua o ka hiki iaʻu ke hoʻoluli iā lākou mai kuʻu mau kuli kuʻi a hina wau i ka honua. Ua ʻeha ka ʻeha o ka ʻeha i kuʻu papalina - nā pi? Ma hope o kēlā, ʻaʻole wau e hoʻomanaʻo i kahi mea a hiki i ka wā i hoʻoluliluli ʻia ai wau e kahi kāne ʻē i ka ʻaʻahu maʻamau: kahi mākaʻi. ʻAʻole pū kime mall, pū kekahi - he mākaʻi puʻukani bona fide, he mākaʻi helehelena koʻikoʻi.

"O wai kou inoa?" Ua nīnau ʻo ia. Ua hoʻoluliluli au i kuʻu poʻo i kāna noe a haʻi aku iā ia.

"E ʻike wau i kekahi ID." Ke luliluli nei koʻu mau lima — makaʻu nā mākaʻi iaʻu — akā ua hele wau i loko o kaʻu ʻeke a hoʻopuka i kaʻu palapala laikini.

"Akā ʻaʻole wau i kalaiwa ma aneʻi," i ʻōlelo au. "Ua kau wau i kahi kaʻa, no ka mea -"

“ʻO Ms. Cheney, ua inu ʻoe i kēia lā? "

Ua luliluli nui wau i kuʻu poʻo ʻaʻole.

"No ka mea ua ʻona ʻoe iaʻu."

"ʻAʻole wau ʻona, ʻāpau wale nō wau." Kū wau i luna a hōʻino iā ia, paupauaho hou. Ua lālau wau i ka lima o ke kāpena no ke kākoʻo.

"ʻAʻohe mea kūpono ma aneʻi," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia. "Lawe wau iā ʻoe i ke kahua."

“ʻAʻole, nānā, ʻo kēia wale nō kēia lāʻau hou aʻu e hele nei. Maikaʻi wau ke noho wau i lalo, akā— “

"He kānāwai koʻikoʻi ko ke kūlanakauhale e kūʻē i ka ʻona ʻana o ka lehulehu," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

“Akā ʻaʻole au i ona,” koi akula au. “He lāʻau lapaʻau kūpono loa ia. Maʻaneʻi, hiki iā ʻoe ke kāhea i kaʻu kauka a haʻi ʻo ia iā ʻoe. ” Ua lawaiʻa wau i kaʻu kāleka psychiatrist mai kaʻu ʻeke. Lawe wau iā ia i nā wahi āpau, ʻaʻohe mea i ka manawa no ka mea ua manaʻo wau ʻo ia koʻu hōʻoia o ke olakino a ʻaʻole wau i ʻike i ka wā e pono ai wau i kēlā.

"ʻAʻole, e aho wau e lawe iā ʻoe i loko," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia. “No kou palekana a me nā lehulehu.”

Ua hana kēlā. He aha kāna i manaʻo ai e hana ana wau, e hele i kahi wobbly robbing spree? Hoʻokomo wau i ke kāleka i kona lima a lohe i koʻu leo ​​e hele a haalulu ana, akā ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke kōkua. “ʻAʻole au e hele i ka hale paʻahao!” Ua ʻōlelo wau. "Kāhea i kaʻu kauka akua!"

Ua huhū loa wau, ua hoʻomaka wau e uē. ʻO ke kāpena kekahi o kēlā ʻano kāne kāne i hiki ʻole ke ʻike i ka waimaka o ka wahine no ka mea ua peʻa ʻo ia i kaʻu kauka, a ua kāhea koke iā ia a hōʻoia ua ʻike wale wau i nā hopena kūlohelohe mai nā lāʻau i kau ʻia. Manaʻo wau ua hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo ia iā ia ʻaʻole wau i hana ʻino iaʻu iho a i ʻole nā ​​mea ʻē aʻe, no ka mea ua hoʻokuʻu wale wau e ka mākaʻi.

"Maopopo iā ʻoe," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia ma ke ʻano he pana hoʻokaʻawale, "ʻoiai no ke kānāwai ʻaʻole ia e maikaʻi. Hiki nō ke ʻona ʻoe inā kuhikuhi ʻia ia. ”

Nā huaʻōlelo naʻauao o ka manaʻo nui loa, akā ua nui koʻu ʻiʻini e kāpae iā ia e ʻike i ko lākou koʻikoʻi. ʻO kaʻu mea e makemake ai e kiʻi i ka pō mai laila aku, ma waho o ka hiki o ka malevolent mana. Ua huhū loa wau ʻaʻole i loaʻa iaʻu kaʻu jeans. Noho wale wau ma ke kaʻe a kali i ke kaʻa e hoʻopakele iaʻu mai ka weliweli.

Ma hope he ʻumikūmālima mau makahiki ma hope mai, ʻoiai ka wahine home home ʻole i kaʻu hale kūʻai lāʻau lapaʻau i ulu nui aʻe ai ka hoʻonāukiuki, ua kani nui koʻu wā i hala e like me kona ʻuwā ʻana. "Kāhea i kaʻu kauka akua!" ʻAʻole ia he uē āu e lohe ai mai kēlā me kēia kanaka ma ke alanui. He mau kaikuahine māua ma lalo o ka ʻili, i hoʻokaʻawale ʻia e kekahi flick o ka hopena. Ua loaʻa iaʻu nā makana me nā kumuwaiwai i hōʻole ʻia ʻo ia. Ua pane aku koʻu maʻi i ka lāʻau lapaʻau — ʻaʻole i maʻalahi, akā i ka hopena ua holo. Malia paha ua loaʻa iaʻu ka lunamanaʻo i nele iā ia e mālama pono ai iaʻu, akā ʻo wai e haʻi i kāna moʻolelo?

Ua kāhea kekahi i nā mākaʻi no ka mea ua hōʻea mai ʻelua mākaʻi e lawe iā ia. ʻAʻohe ona hopena pili i kona mau waimaka; ʻaʻole lākou i akahai i ko lākou alakaʻi ʻana iā ia i waho. Ua luliluli ke poʻo o ka kauka lāʻau i kona hāʻawi ʻana mai iaʻu i kaʻu mau pila. "ʻIke nui mākou iā ia," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia. "Manaʻo ʻoe e loaʻa i kekahi i kōkua iā ia." Nānā wau i kaʻu ʻōmole o antypsychotics atypical, a nānā wau i ke kaʻa mākaʻi e huki wale ana mai ke kaʻe. A ʻaʻole, ʻaʻole au i holo wikiwiki e mālama i ka lā. ʻAʻole wau i hoʻāʻo e hoʻoponopono i ka hopena. Akā ua pani wau i koʻu mau maka a ua pule wau nona; a laila ua hoʻopōmaikaʻi wau i kēlā me kēia lāʻau pākiki liʻiliʻi aʻu i paʻa ai i koʻu lima. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu e pili ana i kēia ʻoihana ʻo ka maʻi noʻonoʻo. Akā ʻike wau i ke aloha ke ʻike wau.