Welina i ka Misery!

Hauʻoli.

Hauʻoli hauʻoli.

Hap hap hip-hap hauʻoli.

Ua lawa, ua. Welina mai i How To Be Miserable: The Blog.

He aha kēia mea āpau?

No ka hapa nui o 20 mau makahiki i hala, ua hopohopo ka psychology me ka ʻimi no ka hauʻoli. ʻOiai ka nānā mua ʻana o nā kauka i ka hoʻopau ʻia o ka ʻehaʻeha loa, ua nānā hou mākou i kēia manawa pehea e hāpai ai i ka poʻe mai ka hauʻoli o nā ʻano māla i kahi kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe.

I ke ʻano, ʻaʻole pono kēia. ʻOiai nui ka ʻilihune a me ka pōʻino i ke kaiāulu o kēia ao, ʻaʻole lākou i kahi kokoke e like me ka mea maʻamau i loko o kā mākou ʻano. Loaʻa iā mākou nā kaʻa, nā kaupaku, nā ʻōnaehana olakino, nā ʻumikū hawewe, a me nā pia pia. Hana mākou, no ka hapa nui, i nā wahi palekana kūpono. Moe mākou i nā moena ʻoluʻolu. Loaʻa iā mākou nā manawa kūpono ʻole no ka leʻaleʻa.

Inā ʻike ʻia kahi denizen o ka Middle Ages ua lawe ʻia ʻo ia i 21st Century North America, manaʻo ʻo ia ua hōʻea ʻo ia i ka lani.

Akā e nānā a puni.

Hoʻopuni mākou i ka hauʻoli. 'Speaklelo ka pāpāho e pili ana i kahi pilikia olakino noʻonoʻo, ʻoiai ka ʻoi aku ka nui o kā mākou lilo i ke ola noʻonoʻo i kēlā me kēia kanaka ma mua o kēlā me kēia manawa o kā mākou mōʻaukala. Ke piʻi nei nā helu kaumaha, a ʻaʻole wale no ka mea e hoʻonui mau mākou i ka wehewehe o ke kaumaha e hoʻopili i nā ʻāpana nui o ka lehulehu. ʻO kēlā mau mea i hōʻike ʻole ʻia me ke kaumaha o ka haukapila, nui ʻole ka hauʻoli o ka pae o ka hauʻoli i loaʻa i ko lākou ola.

Inā he mīkini ka moʻomeheu no ka hana ʻana i ka hauʻoli kanaka, ʻike hewa ʻia kā mākou - a kūpono ʻole ka maikaʻi. E nānā paha mākou a ʻike i ka mea i hewa.

Nui ka māla o ka psychology maikaʻi i ka manaʻo o nā ikaika inoa. Inā, i loko o kahi honua e pili ana i ka nui, ua hoʻokele mākou e hana i nā kaumaha nui loa, a laila maliʻa paha ʻo ka hauʻoli ʻole ka ikaika o kā mākou pūlima maoli. E hana kākou i ka hapa nui.

Ke kinona o nā mea e hiki mai ana

Hoʻokumu ʻia kēia blog e kaʻu puke Pehea e pōʻino ai: 40 mau hoʻolālā āu i hoʻohana ai (New Harbinger, 2016). E kamaʻilio wau e pili ana i nā ʻāpana mai ka puke, a e pili ana i nā hoʻolālā i ʻike ʻole ʻia i loko o kāna ʻaoʻao. E kuhikuhi wau i nā ʻano kaiāulu e hoʻoulu ai i ka hauʻoli ʻole o ke kanaka. E hoʻolauna wau i ka noiʻi kūpono. E haʻi aku wau i ka skepticism no kekahi o nā koi kiʻekiʻe loa o ka olakino noʻonoʻo, umm, ʻoihana. ʻO wau kahi ʻāpana semi-makemake.

Makemake pū wau i ka blog ma ka liʻiliʻi. Ma nā wā kuʻina e paʻi wau i nā huapalapala a me nā ʻāpana Q a me A. I kēia hopena, e ʻoluʻolu e kākau iaʻu ma aneʻi ma Psychology i kēia lā. Me kēia:

• Nā ala āu e hemo ai i kou hauʻoli iho, ka hauʻoli, a me ka hoihoi.
• Nā nīnau e pili ana i ka psychology maikaʻi, nā pilikia paʻakikī, a me ka hoʻokō ʻana i ke ola. (E ʻoluʻolu e hoʻomaopopo, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hāʻawi i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo olakino i kēia kolamu.)
• Nā kumuhana āu e makemake ai iaʻu e uhi.

ʻO kahi mea e pili ana iaʻu

He psychologist wau e hana nei ma Wanekoua, Kanada. I ka makahiki 2002 ua hoʻokumu wau i ka Hale Hōʻikeʻike ʻo Changeways - kahi inoa kupaianaha ʻole aʻu i lawe ai mai ka lawelawe aʻu e hana nei ma UBC Hospital - ka Changeways Program. Loaʻa iā mākou he 14 psychologists e hāʻawi ana i ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa lawehala noʻonoʻo a me nā hōʻike e pili ana i nā mālama ʻana no ka hopohopo, kaumaha, hoʻololi o ke ola, burnout, pilikia e pili ana i ke olakino, a me nā mea hou aku.

Aia i loko o kaʻu mau puke Pehea e Miserable, Ka Assertiveness Workbook, Kou Palapala Paʻi Pōpilikia, a me nā hana pilikino pilikino i maʻalahi. I koʻu mau manawa manawaleʻa wau e hana i kahi māla liʻiliʻi i loko o British Columbia, e ulu ana i nā ʻāpala, nā pears, nā peach, nā apricots, nā cherry, a me nā plum. ʻAʻohe o mākou holoholona i manaʻo ʻia, ʻoiai ʻo kā mākou mau malihini kipa me nā dia, nā bea, nā ʻūlū, nā beaver, nā otter, a me nā ʻāhiu ʻāhiu.

Kaumaha iki ma luna o nā nakeke no kuʻu ʻono, akā hey: ʻaʻole maikaʻi loa ke ola.