No ke aha e lawa ʻole ai ke aʻo ʻana i nā keiki ʻoluʻolu

Anter

• Nā kiko kī
• No ke aha e hana ai nā keiki i ka manaʻo
• He aha nā mākua e hiki ai ke kōkua

Nā kiko kī

• Ke hana a nā keiki, ke hakakā pinepine nei lākou me nā manaʻo paʻakikī o ka hilahila ʻole, ka kānalua a me ka hopohopo, kahi mea paʻakikī e hana.
• Hana pinepine nā keiki i ko lākou mau manaʻo ma o ke kuhi ʻana, hōʻeha i nā keiki ʻē aʻe me nā huaʻōlelo a hana paha ke ʻeha lākou.
• ʻO ka hoʻopaʻi no ka "mean" hiki ke hoʻonui i ka lawena aloha ʻole. Pono nā keiki i ke kākoʻo e hoʻoponopono i nā manaʻo a me nā pono hana no ka mālama ʻana iā lākou me ka maikaʻi.
• Hiki i kekahi mau mākua ke hoʻohana me ke haʻi ʻana i ka moʻolelo o ka mea i hana me ka ʻole o ka hoʻokolokolo a me ke alakaʻi ʻana i nā keiki e hōʻike i ka hopena.

ʻO wau Huli ʻo kā mākou Miranda (5) he "kaikamahine uʻi." Hōʻike kāna kumu i kona puʻuwai ma ke kula, e kuhikuhi ana i kāna mau hoa i ka mea hiki a hiki ʻole iā lākou ke hana. Hoʻohana ʻo ia i nā ʻōlelo hoʻoweliweli e hele i kāna ala — e haʻi ana i nā keiki ʻaʻole lākou e kono ʻia i kona hale no kahi pāʻālua a i ʻole e haʻi aku ʻo ia i ke kumu iā lākou inā ʻaʻole lākou e hana i kāna makemake. Hoʻokaʻawale ʻo ia i nā keiki mai kāna pāʻani ʻana, keu hoʻi ʻo ia i hoʻokahi a me kahi keiki ʻē aʻe. ʻLelo ʻo ia i ka "mea komo hewa" e hele aku, me ka hana hou ʻana i kēlā mantra, ke kula nui o ke kula kamaliʻi: "ʻAʻole mahalo!" Hoʻonāukiuki pū kekahi ʻo ia i ka hana a kāna mau hoa papa a hoʻohenehene iā lākou ke hana hewa lākou. Ma ka home, waiho mau ʻo ia i kona kaikaina a ʻaʻole e ʻae iā ia e pāʻani me ia ke ʻole ʻo ia e ukali i kāna mau kauoha āpau. ʻAʻole hiki iā ia ke ʻōlelo i kekahi mea.

Weliweli mākou i kēia hana a ʻaʻohe o mākou manaʻo no hea ia. Ke kamaʻilio mau nei mākou e pili ana i ka lokomaikaʻi i ko mākou home, a nānā nui lākou i kēia i ke kula. ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke noʻonoʻo pehea e loaʻa ai iā ia e lilo i kanaka lokomaikaʻi a mākou e makemake ai. Weliweli loa ia me he makua lā ʻaʻole makemake i kāu keiki.

He hanana kēia a nā mākua e ʻimi nei i kaʻu lawelawe e hakakā nei. Pili lākou a hopohopo e pili ana i ka hopena maikaʻi ʻole o kēia ʻano hana i kā lākou keiki, i kēia manawa a i ka wā e hiki mai ana. ʻO ka nui o kā lākou hoʻāʻo e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i kā lākou keiki i kāna ʻano hana a hoʻoulu i ka lokomaikaʻi, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka loaʻa. Pale aku kā lākou keiki a pani i lalo ke makemake lākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana. Manaʻo lākou he mea kōkua ʻole ka hopena i kahi loli maikaʻi.

No ke aha e hana ai nā keiki i ka manaʻo

Ke haku nā keiki i nā keiki ʻē aʻe a puni, e ʻōlelo i nā mea ʻeha, hoʻokaʻawale i nā hoa, a hana i nā ʻano ʻino ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole hana hewa lākou ma ke kumu. Ma ka nui, ke hakakā nei kēia mau keiki me nā manaʻo paʻakikī o ka palekana ʻole / kānalua iā ia iho a me ka hopohopo. He ʻoluʻolu ʻole kēia mau manaʻo paʻakikī a paʻakikī hoʻi e noʻonoʻo a hoʻomanawanui, ʻoiai no nā mākua, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o nā keiki ʻōpio i ʻike ʻole iā lākou iho a i ʻole nā ​​mākau e hana pono i kēia mau manaʻo. no laila, hana lākou iā lākou ma o ka wanana - e hāʻawi nei i nā manaʻo hōʻoluʻolu ʻole i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. ʻO kahi laʻana, hoʻomāʻewaʻewa ʻo Sumi i nā hoa ke loaʻa hewa ka pane i ka manawa pōʻai a i ʻole e haʻalele i ka pōpō i loko o ka hīnaʻi. He paepae haʻahaʻa loa ko Sumi no ka kaohi ʻole a me ka "hemolele." Ke ʻike ʻo ia i nā keiki ʻē e hina ana, hoʻonāukiuki ia i kona mau manaʻo ponoʻī o ka palupalu a me ka hilahila. Hoʻolālā ʻo ia i kēia mau manaʻo paʻakikī e paʻakikī iā ia e hoʻomanawanui i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. ʻO ia kahi hana kope, ʻoiai kahi ʻano maikaʻi ʻole.

ʻO ka haʻalele ʻana i nā hoa he hana coping nō ia no nā keiki i hōʻoluʻolu ʻole me ka paʻakikī o ka ikaika o ka hui. Manaʻo lākou he palekana ke pāʻani ʻana me hoʻokahi keiki wale nō a pale aku i nā keiki ʻē aʻe ke hoʻāʻo lākou e hui pū. A i ʻole, hoʻokuʻu paha i kahi keiki i kekahi poʻe ʻē aʻe no ka makaʻu iā ia iho e haʻalele ʻia. ʻO ke kuhikuhi ʻana i ka mea hiki a hiki ʻole ke komo ke ala e mālama ai i ka kaohi a hōʻoia ʻaʻole e kāpae ʻia ʻo ia. ʻO kahi laʻana, ua paʻakikī ʻo Mica, 6, i ka mālama ʻana i nā pilina pili maikaʻi. Koi ʻo ia e hana lākou i nā "kime" i loko o kāna pod i mea e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻia ai e loaʻa iā ia ma kahi o hoʻokahi keiki i kona kihi, e uku ana iā ia iho mai ka haʻalele ʻia ʻana. E kāpae paha nā kamaliʻi i loaʻa ka mana o ka mana — e manaʻo e like me ka haku o lākou e hana nei i ka mea. Ua ʻike wau i kēia ʻano hana i ka wā he pēpē hou i loko o ka ʻohana: ʻIke ke keiki makua i ka nalowale o ka mana a hoʻomaka ʻo ia e lilo i poli i ka hoʻāʻo e loaʻa hou kona kino.

ʻO nā keiki ʻike nui (HS) e ke ʻano kūlohelohe e hana i kēia mau ʻano ʻino. Kaʻi ʻia nā keiki HS e hoʻopaʻa inoa i ko lākou mau manaʻo a me ko lākou ʻike ma ka honua ma mua o nā keiki ʻē aʻe. ʻO lākou nā "mea lawelawe"; ua like ia me ka pau ʻole o ka lolo. Mālama nui lākou a kālailai i nā mea āpau. Hoʻomoʻa lākou i nā mea hou aʻe ma mua o kā lākou ʻōnaehana i hiki ke lawelawe, no laila hoʻonāukiuki lākou e noʻonoʻo i waho o ka kaohi a me ka hopohopo maʻalahi. Ke manaʻo lākou i waho o ka kaohi o loko, hiki iā lākou ke lilo i ka mana o waho "e hana ana e like me ka" dictator fascist "- kahi monike a nā mākua i hāʻawi ai i kā lākou keiki HS. ʻO ke kuhikuhi ʻana i nā mea a hiki i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a hiki ʻole ke hana he ala ia e hōʻoia ai e hele nā ​​mea i ke ala a lākou e ʻoluʻolu loa ai. E like me Serena, 4, ka mea mau ke kuleana. Hāʻawi ʻo ia i kēlā me kēia i ke kuleana e hiki ai iā lākou i kā lākou pāʻani hoʻokamani, hoʻoholo inā no ka dinosaurs a i ʻole nā ​​superheroes ka Magnility, a kuhikuhi i kahi e noho ai nā hoa papa ma ka papa ʻaina. Inā kū ʻole kāna mau hoa, hehi ʻo ia a hōʻole e pāʻani, a i ʻole hoʻoweliweli, e laʻa me ke kumu iā lākou.

Eia kekahi, ʻoi aku ka noʻonoʻo o nā keiki HS. Ke hiki ʻole iā lākou ke hana i kahi mea e like me kā lākou e makemake ai a i ʻole manaʻo ʻia, a i ʻole ʻaʻole lākou ka mea lanakila - ka "ʻoi loa" - ʻike lākou iā ia ma ke ʻano he nalowale o ka hoʻomalu a hoʻohilahila ʻia i kā lākou ʻike "kū ʻole." Ke ʻike lākou i nā keiki ʻē aʻe e hakakā ana, hoʻonāukiuki ia i ko lākou ʻano pilikino o ka nāwaliwali. Ma muli o ka paʻakikī o kēlā mau manaʻo ke hoʻomanawanui, hoʻolālā lākou iā lākou i kēlā mau keiki a waiho iā lākou i lalo, e like me kā mākou i ʻike ai me Sumi.

I mea e uku ai i ko lākou mau manaʻo no ka palekana ʻole, pono nō hoʻi kēia mau keiki e hoʻonui i ka poʻe āpau. I ka manawa pōʻai, ke kaʻana like ka hoa i kahi mea kūikawā, e like me ka hele ʻana i kahi huakaʻi i Disney World, ʻo lākou ka mea e pane ai: “Ua 100 mau manawa wau i Disney World!”

Me kēia ʻike a me kēia kuanaʻike, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ke kumu o ke "aʻo" ʻana i ka lokomaikaʻi, a i ʻole ka haʻi ʻana aku i nā keiki he ʻoluʻolu lākou, ʻaʻole hana iki i kahi mea ʻē aʻe ʻike "i ka pololei a me ka hewa. E haʻi pololei lākou iā ʻoe i ka haʻalele ʻana i nā keiki a i ʻole ka ʻōlelo ʻana i nā mea maikaʻi ʻole a maikaʻi ʻole. Akā i ka manawa, ke hoʻomaka ʻia lākou, ʻo ko lākou papa i lalo, lawe ka lolo lolo i ko lākou naʻau. lanakila.

He aha nā mākua e hiki ai ke kōkua

Hoʻoponopono i kāu mau manaʻo / hopena. Ke hoʻonāukiuki nui nei ia i ka hapa nui o nā mākua e ʻike a lohe paha e pili ana i ke ʻano lokomaikaʻi ʻole o kā lākou keiki. Ua hopohopo lākou e pili ana i ke ʻano o kēia ʻano hana no kā lākou keiki nāna lākou e hoʻolana i kahi ʻano hana hou, ke kula ʻana i kā lākou keiki me ka lana o ka manaʻo hiki iā lākou ke hoʻohuli iā ia e hoʻololi i kāna ʻaoʻao. ʻAʻohe mea e makemake e pāʻani me ʻoe inā ʻoe e haʻi pinepine iā lākou i ka mea e hana ai. ”

ʻO ka pilikia ka hilahila o kēia mau ʻano pane, kahi e pale aku ai nā keiki a liʻiliʻi paha e noʻonoʻo a hoʻololi i kā lākou ʻano-ʻo ka pahuhopu hope loa a me kahi mea wale nō e kāohi ai kāu keiki. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻoluʻolu i kāu keiki. ʻO kāu hana e hōʻike i kāu keiki aia ʻoe ma kona ʻaoʻao; e lilo ʻoe i kōkua kōkua hilinaʻi nāna e alakaʻi iā ia e noʻonoʻo i loko o kāna mau ʻike i kahi ala hoʻokolokolo ʻole ʻole, i hiki iā ia ke aʻo e hana i nā koho maikaʻi loa nona iho.

E haʻi i ka moʻolelo o ka mea i hana ʻia, he mea nui, me ka hoʻopaʻi ʻole a me ka hoʻokolokolo ʻole. "Makemake ʻoe e pāʻani me Jasper, hoʻokahi wale nō. ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake ia ke hoʻāʻo nā keiki ʻē aʻe e hui, no laila ʻōlelo ʻoe iā lākou e hele. I kekahi manawa, hoʻoholo ʻo Jasper e pāʻani me nā hoaaloha ʻē aʻe, akā hoʻoholo ʻoe ʻaʻole e hui pū, ʻoiai lākou e kono iā ʻoe. A laila kaumaha ʻoe i ka noho hoʻokahi. ”

“Makemake ʻoe e mālama. He mau manaʻo ikaika loa kou e pili ana i kāu makemake i ka pāʻani. Ke loaʻa nā manaʻo ʻokoʻa o kāu mau hoaaloha e pili ana i ka pāʻani, ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake iā ia a ʻōlelo i nā mea ʻeha iā lākou e hoʻāʻo e hana iā lākou i kāu makemake. "

"Ua ʻakaʻaka ʻoe i ka wā i hāʻawi aku ai ʻo Edewada i ka pane hewa i kahi nīnau a ke kumu. Ua haʻi ke kumu iā ʻoe e haʻalele i ka pōʻai no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻoluʻolu ʻoe. Huhū ʻoe. ”

Ke waiho nei i waho e like me kēia e hōʻike ana i kāu keiki ʻaʻole ʻoe e hoʻokolokolo iā ia. Pono ʻoe e hoʻomaka i kahi o kāu keiki inā makemake ʻoe e wehe iā ia e noʻonoʻo hou i kāna hopena.

E alakaʻi i kāu keiki e nānā i ka hopena o ka hālāwai. E hoʻomaka me ka hoʻokumu ʻana he keiki lokomaikaʻi kāu keiki i kekahi manawa paʻakikī e hana ʻano ʻoluʻolu: "Manaʻo mākou āpau i ka lili a me ka hoʻokūkū i kekahi manawa. ʻO ia kahi ʻāpana o ke kanaka. Akā inā hoʻonāukiuki kou mau manaʻo iā ʻoe, ʻaʻole ʻeha wale ia ʻo ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole maikaʻi ia nāu. Hana ia i nā poʻe me ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole, nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole e pili ana iā ʻoe, ma kahi o ka ʻike ʻana i kou ʻoluʻolu a me kou leʻaleʻa. E noʻonoʻo mākou ma o kēia mau hanana i hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻoholo pehea e pane ai i kāu mau hoaaloha i mea e loaʻa ai iā lākou nā manaʻo maikaʻi a maikaʻi e pili ana iā ʻoe. "

E nīnau i nā nīnau e huli aʻe kona mau huila, e like me: "Pehea kou manaʻo i ka wā i hele aku ai ʻo Jasper e pāʻani me nā keiki ʻē aʻe?" "Ua holo anei ia ma ke ala āu e makemake ai?" "He aha nā koho ʻē aʻe āu e hana ai inā e kū hou kēia hanana?"

“Pehea kou manaʻo i kou mau hoaaloha ke haʻi aku ʻoe iā lākou i ka mea e hana ai? He aha ke ʻano o kou manaʻo e pili ana iā ʻoe? ” “Ke makemake ʻole lākou e pāʻani me ʻoe, pehea kou manaʻo? Pehea e holo pono ai iā ʻoe i ka hopena — ma ke ala āu e makemake ai, ʻaʻole paha? ” "He aha nā koho ʻē aʻe āu?"

“He kāne maʻalea maoli ʻoe. ʻIke wau hiki iā ʻoe ke waiho iā ʻoe iho i nā kāmaʻa a Edward a noʻonoʻo i ka pehea e hiki ai iā ia ke ʻakaʻaka iā ia ke hana hewa ʻo ia. Manaʻo ʻoe e loaʻa iā ia nā manaʻo maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole paha e pili ana iā ʻoe? He aha ke ʻano o nā manaʻo āu e makemake ai e loaʻa iā ia e pili ana iā ʻoe? ”

ʻO ka manaʻo e hōʻole i ka haʻi ʻana i kāu keiki i ka mea e hana ai, a ma kahi o, e kōkua iā ia e noʻonoʻo i loko o kāna mau ʻike, e like me ka mea hiki. E noʻonoʻo e pili ana: ʻO kēia ke ʻano o ka pane a ka hapanui o mākou e manaʻo nei ke hele mākou i nā hoaaloha a ʻohana paha me kahi pilikia. ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake e haʻi lākou iā ʻoe i ka mea e hana ai, ke manaʻo nei e kākoʻo a hoʻokuʻu paha. Makemake ʻoe i kahi mea, me ka ʻole o ka hoʻokolokolo, kōkua iā ʻoe e nānā i ke kūlana mai nā kekelē 360 — e maopopo ai i nā manaʻo i hoʻomaka ʻia no ʻoe - a e noʻonoʻo ma o nā ʻano papa āu e makemake ai e hana. Ke hiki mai i kēia mau kamaʻilio me kāu keiki, e nīnau ana i kāna mau nīnau, me ka "hoʻoponopono" ʻana iā ia, hāʻawi i manawa kūpono nāna e hana i nā pilina ma waena o kāna hana a me kā lākou hopena. Hoʻololi paha kēia i kāna ʻano. I ka hopena o ka lā, pono i kāu keiki e aʻo e hoʻoponopono i kāna mau pilikia ponoʻī. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻoponopono iā lākou nona.

Kaʻana i kāu kuanaʻike. Aia a ʻike kāu keiki ʻaʻole ʻoe e hoʻāʻo e haʻi iā ia i kāna mea e hana ai a hoʻohilahila paha iā ia no kāna hana, e wehe paha ʻo ia e hoʻolohe i kāu ʻōlelo. ʻAʻole ʻoe e haʻi aku iā ia i ka mea e hana ai, ke kaʻana like nei ʻoe i kou kuanaʻike nona e noʻonoʻo ai.

"Maopopo iaʻu makemake ʻoe i hoʻokahi hoa aloha kūikawā iā ʻoe iho. Akā makemake kekahi mau keiki i ka loaʻa ʻana o nā hoa he nui aku. Ma muli wale nō o ka makemake o Jasper e hoʻokomo i nā keiki ʻē aʻe ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo he mea kūikawā ʻole ʻoe iā ia. Kani paha ʻoe e pono e hoʻoholo inā hiki ke ʻoluʻolu me ka pāʻani ʻana me Jasper i kahi hui. Aia iā ʻoe ia. ”

"Me he mea lā inā makemake ʻoe e pāʻani pū kou mau hoaaloha me ʻoe, pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo inā hiki ke maʻalahi a hoʻokomo i ko lākou mau manaʻo i kāu pāʻani ʻana - e hāliu i nā hana like ʻole a waiho i nā poʻe ʻē e hele ma mua, i kekahi manawa. He aha kou manaʻo āu e makemake ai e hana? ”

"Hoʻomanaʻo ʻoe i kou wā e hana nui nei e holo i kahi huila ʻelua a huhū loa i kēlā me kēia manawa e hāʻule ai? ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake i ka manaʻo o ka hemolele ʻana o ia manawa koke - paʻakikī ia no ka nui o nā poʻe, ʻo wau pū kekahi. E makemake paha ʻoe e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ka mea āu e makemake ai i kahi hoa e ʻōlelo iā ʻoe i kēlā ʻano ʻano, a pehea ʻoe e pane ai i kāu mau hoaaloha ke paʻakikī lākou. He aha ke ʻano o ka pane e loaʻa ai i kou mau hoaaloha nā manaʻo maikaʻi e pili ana iā ʻoe? ”

I kēia mau lā ua ʻike wau i ka lilo ʻana o kēia mau kamaʻilio ʻana ma o FaceTime a i ʻole Zoom paha i mea maikaʻi loa. Hele ʻoe a me kāu keiki i nā wahi kaʻawale a kūkākūkā koke. Hiki i kēia ke hōʻemi i ka hōʻoluʻolu o kekahi mau keiki i ke kamaʻilio ʻana he alo a he alo. Lawe ia i kekahi o ke kaomi a wehe hou iā lākou.

Hāʻawi i kahi mea hana e kōkua i kāu keiki e hōʻoki i ka hana aloha ʻole. E piʻi mai me kahi huaʻōlelo cue āu e ʻōlelo nui ai ke ʻike ʻoe i kāu keiki e iho ana i kahi ala maikaʻi ʻole e kōkua iā ia e hoʻomaha a ʻike inā hiki iā ia ke hoʻoponopono i kahi papa ma mua o ka hele ʻana o nā mea i waho o ka kaohi. Hana ʻo Brian i kēia me kāna keiki, ʻo Derrick, ka mea maʻamau i ka hoʻohenehene ʻana i nā keiki ma ke kahua pāʻani. Kāhea ʻo Brian i "lolo-lolo," ka huaʻōlelo hoʻomākeʻaka a lākou i hui pū ai, ke hoʻomaka ka hoʻohenehene. ʻOi pinepine ma mua o ka ʻole, hoʻopau ʻo Derrick i ka hoʻomāʻewaʻewa a neʻe i kahi ala maikaʻi aʻe. Ke hāʻawi nei i kēia ʻano kākoʻo e hōʻike ana i kāu keiki aia ʻoe ma kona ʻaoʻao a ke kōkua nei iā ia e hana i nā koho maikaʻi aʻe.

Inā hoʻomau ka hana maʻamau a ke keʻakeʻa nei i ka manawa mau i ka hiki i kāu keiki ke ulu ma ke kula, ma ka home, a me nā mea like paha, paipai wau e ʻimi i ke kākoʻo o kahi loea ulu keiki. ʻO kēia nā pilikia paʻakikī e hakakā ana nā keiki me ka mea e pono ai ka nānā hou aku.